If there was a class for Seinfield I would take it. I think that Seinfield was a brilliant comedy show, they were able to take subjects and world events and transform them into comedy routines.

1. "Sex, to save the friendship."

2. "Listen to this. Marcy comes over and she tells me that her ex-boyfriend was over late last night and 'yada yada yada I'm really tired today.' You don't think she'd yada yada sex?"
"I've yada yada'd sex."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again."
"But you yada yada'd over the best part."
"No, I mentioned the bisque."

3. "Jerry, you stand on the threshold to the magical world of sensual delights that most men dare not dream of."

4. You remember my corporation, Kramerica Industries?"
"Alright."
"Well, apparently NYU is very enthusiastic about their students getting some real world corporate experience."
"But you only provide fantasy world corporate experience."

5. "She needs a little tenderness. She needs a little understanding. She needs a little Kramer."

6. "What is so appealing to men about a catfight?"
"Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other, there's a chance they might somehow kiss."

7. "This whole sex thing is totally overrated. Now, the one thing you gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it's over. I mean, something happens to their personality. It's really quite astounding. It's like they committed a crime and they want to flee the scene before the police get there."
"So they just leave?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Well, the smart ones start working on their getaway stories during dinner. How, you know, they gotta get up early tomorrow. It's always about being up early. They all turn into farmers suddenly."

8. "So, how's the fornicating gourmet?"
"Doing quite well, thank you. Yesterday I had a soft-boiled egg and a quickie. You know what? If I could add TV to the equation, that would really be the ultimate."

9. "Can I have a medium diet coke?"
"Do you want the medium size or the middle size?"
"What's the difference?"
"Well, we have three sizes - medium, large and jumbo."
"What happened to the small?"
"There is no small. Small's medium."
"What's medium?"
"Medium's large and large is jumbo."
"Okay, give me the large."
"That's medium."
"Right. Can I have a small popcorn?"
"There is no small. Child-size is small."
"What's medium?"
"Adult."
"Do adults ever order the child-size?"
"Not usually."
"Okay, give me the adult."
"Do you want butter?"
"Is it real butter?"
"It's butter flavoring."
"What is it made of?"
"It's yellow."

10. "It's not you, it's me.... You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me."
"Alright, George, it's you."
"You're damn right it's me."
"Look, I was just trying to...."
"I know what you were trying to do. Nobody does it better than me."
"Well I'm sure you do it very well."
"Yes, well, unfortunately you'll never get the chance to find out."